Emotional Losses in the Elderly

Most people think that “grief” and “grieving” only happen after the death of a family member or friend.  But, people can go through the stages of grief for emotional losses too.

WHAT EMOTIONAL LOSSES ARE YOUR ELDERLY CLIENTS GRIEVING?

Loss of Youth—The loss of a youthful body begins gradually and then seems to speed up in the later years.

Loss of Family and Friends—As people age, it’s common for them to lose a number of loved ones.  They must face the deaths of their parents, their siblings and their friends.

Loss of Work—Some people look forward to retiring at age 65.  Others keep on working well past retirement age.  However, even people who are looking forward to retirement feel some grief over the loss of work. 

Loss of Spouse—As married couples age, they usually hope to grow old together, but death often interrupts these plans.  Most people live out their final years alone—especially women. 

Loss of Health—Health problems in later life tend to be permanent.  This can cause elderly people to grieve over the loss of good health they had in their youth.

Loss of Independence—Many seniors first begin to lose their independence when they can no longer drive a car.  Losing the ability to come and go as they please can be very hard for elderly people.

How can you help clients cope with emotional loss?

• Most people lack practice talking about loss and grief . . . but as a caregiver, it is important for you to know how to talk to a person who is grieving in a meaningful and honest way.  
• Avoid telling your clients that “you know how they feel.”  It’s impossible for you to know exactly what it’s like to walk in their shoes.  Instead, let them know that you care and that you want to help if they need you.
• Let your words and actions show that you care.  If your client is comfortable with physical contact, try giving a hug or holding a hand.
• Remember that everyone grieves in his or her own way.  For example, avoid judging a grieving person because he doesn’t cry or because he cries too much.
• Watch out for signs of substance abuse.  People who are grieving are at risk for using alcohol and/or drugs to ease their emotional pain.
• Learn to recognize and report the symptoms of depression, such as weight changes, loss of interest in everyday activities, sleeping too much or too little, problems paying attention, and/or confusion.